Julene

My Auntie Julene is dying. She has a rare auto immune disorder with no known cause and limited treatment. The surgical treatments aren't an option because Julene's heart isn't strong enough for surgery. Other treatments have been tried, but are excruciatingly painful, and not guaranteed. Julene pulled the plug on further treatment about a week ago.  She is now in hospice care.

Julene is my mother's sister-in-law. She is the mother of 6, the grandmother of many, and recently became a great-grandmother. Her baking was famous in our family - and among everyone who knew her. She loved to cook and bake and even did catering for a while. When I was about 12 or 14, she gave me a recipe card file with a starter set of recipes; I loved it. I no longer have the box, but I still have the recipes, on 3x5 index cards, in Julene's beautiful handwriting.

When I was growing up, our family spent Christmas Day with my mother's two siblings and our cousins on that side of the family, rotating locations between the three households. Because my birth family is so large (11 children), my dad would ferry us to the festivities in 2 groups. Even in those days of no seat belt or car seat laws, we couldn't fit all of us, gifts, and food in one car. I loved going to both places, and looked forward to seeing all of the cousins. Jim & Julene had 4 boys and 2 girls. One of the boys, Jeff, is just 2 days older than I am (that age difference was a source of consternation when I was young - now I'm willing to let him be my elder), and the oldest girl, Lynn, is about 18 months younger. Jeff was a huge tease, but never really mean. Once we got over our shyness - seeing each other only a couple of times a year we had to re-introduce ourselves each time - we had a lot of fun together.

Twice when I was in elementary school, about ages 9 and 10, Auntie Julene invited me to stay with their family for a week during the summer.  We did ordinary things: baked cookies, went swimming, played outside for hours, and more.  My Uncle Jim was appalled that I didn't know how to ride a bicycle yet at age 9. At my house, there were only full size bicycles available & they belonged to my older siblings, who weren't interested in teaching us younger kids how to ride. But Jim & Julene had smaller bicycles and Uncle Jim put me on one and followed me around their large flat driveway until I was able to wobble myself around a bit.  Over the rest of that week, I spent many hours riding in circles on the driveway.  When I felt homesick, Auntie Julene would feed me cookies and talk about the family, what outings we might do, and anything else she could think of to distract me.

When my own children were young, we lived about 6 blocks from Jim & Julene's home for a couple of years.  Every 6 weeks or so, I would call Julene and the kids & I would walk over to visit her. Julene had many irons in the fire in those days, but she always made time for me; I think she remembered how hard it was to be at home all day with small children and no grownup person to talk to - even more so in the 1980s because so many moms were working outside the home and the kids were in daycare.

A thank-you card seems like the right thing to send her now.  I'll look for one tomorrow morning before I go to work.

Thanks for the memories, Auntie Julene. I love you.